


The return

by MysticallyGallavich



Series: The return [1]
Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Angst, Hope, Love, M/M, Post 3x06, Regrets, armyian, daddymickey, happiness, prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-06
Updated: 2016-06-06
Packaged: 2018-07-12 15:48:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7112281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MysticallyGallavich/pseuds/MysticallyGallavich
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>anon asks: </p><p>Ian joins the the army and returns after 4 years. He goes to the Alibi. He sees Mickey and goes to him to ask if they can be fuck buddies again but Mickey rejects him because is mad at him. Ian talks to V and finds out that: Terry is dead, he has made coming-out at the funeral, lives in the Northside (house with the white fence), took his GED, owner a dealership of car and has adopted Alexander and Isabelle. It will be a party for them. After, Ian knows that he wants be a part of their lives</p><p>after Mickey's rape on 3x06 Ian joins the army without tell nothing to his family, Mandy and Mickey and for Alexander and Isabelle (who were orphans) I choosed those names because I am a fan of Shadowhunters.<br/>(No Yev, Svetlana or bipolar disorder.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	The return

**Author's Note:**

> Prompts inspire me. ;). I expected to write a paragraph of this today and it over took me so I hope you like. 
> 
> Un-edited. It's 5:30 in the morning. Sleep time. Lol.

 

\--

Ian Gallagher steps off the bus and breathes in the Chicago air, closing his eyes, he readjusts his large army backpack on his shoulder and steps out once more. He watches his fellow soldiers, his friends greet their families and he sighs. There was nobody here for him because he hadn't wanted them to be. That's what happens when you disappear and don't tell a damn sole where you're  going. That's what happens when you're  young and heartbroken and you just want to get away. Unfortunately throwing his whole life away, at the time had seemed like the only way to get away from what had happened, the only way to avoid the look on Mickey's  eyes when he looked at him. He could have stayed, sure, he could have tried to fix this but he knew then just as much as he knew now, it wouldn't change anything. He would have still been heartbroken and without Mickey. He just would have had his entire family there to witness him self-destruct.

In the end, he wasn't sure which was worse. That in which he was sure would happen, or what was sure to happen now. He could have fixed this before now. Called home. Made them proud of him, he had done some good work in the last four years. Hadn't gotten himself killed over there, not like it would have fixed anything if he had, he had to do this now. His tour was over, and while he could have just decided to start over anywhere else, he decided against it. What was his life worth if he had to live the rest of it hiding away and pretending that he didn't love his family, well most of them, and to find out whatever happened to his best friend and her brother who he hasn't stopped thinking of once in the last four years? Not like he really wanted to come face to face with their father who was holding a gun to his face the last time he had the pleasure of seeing the man. He still wondered what kind of influence he still had on the two Milkovich siblings that he loved deeply.

He continued to walk, taking in the streets that he was raised in. Four years could change a lot, and at the same time, it could be scarily familiar. His army greens tugging at his body, he continued to let his mind slip away as he walked, not knowing entirely where he should go first. Home would be the logical answer if they were even still there. He hoped at least they were, he couldn't imagine how long it would take him to get up the nerve to find his family if for some reason they had moved. This was hard enough. He made his decision then. To walk to that house, the place that was his home, for such a long time. It was time to take on the yelling and accusations. He didn't really have anywhere else to go anyway, he supposed he could stay in a hotel, depending on how angry they were.

He stops still when he sees it. Runs his hand down the fence. The memories of his childhood flooding back to him. And he feels the tears spring to his eyes. “Please don't hate me.” He whispers out as he opens the fence and slowly walks up to the door. Should he knock? Should he just walk in like he never left? He settles on knocking on the door. And sighs loudly. A sigh he's sure could be heard from blocks away. His heart stills as he waits for the door to swing open, it seems like forever before the door finally opens. The person calling from over her shoulder.

“Calm down assholes. I got it.” Debbie calls out. And he smiles looking at her before she notices him. He had left a small freckled child and she definitely wasn't that anymore. She wasn't a kid. She was bordering on an adult now. And she was beautiful. Long red hair flowing past her shoulders, light makeup on her features, and she finally turned to him and her mouth gaped open suddenly. “Ian?” She whispers silently and he smiles at her.

“Hi, Debs.” He says silently. Her face falls, and she crosses her arms.

“And just where the hell have you been?” She glares and he chuckles lightly, waving his hands over his form, for her to notice the uniform.

“Army.” He says and she rolls her eyes at him.

“Well, no shit. Asshole.” She says and punches him in the arm and turns back towards the house, walking a few steps back in but he doesn't move. He doesn't know if he should. “You coming?” She asks shaking her head and he steps his first step into his childhood home, slowly with every step, feeling as if he can't breathe. This is it. Time to fix this shit.  
“Who is it, Debs?” Fiona calls from the couch, she's curled up next to a man that Ian has never met, not surprising.

“A ghost,” Debbie says, which causes Fiona to turn around and when her eyes meet Ians she jumps up.

“Ian!?!?” She yells, causing everyone in the room to turn around. Carl looks up warily at his older brother, Liam who's on the floor looks back but turns his gaze back to the TV. Nobody else is present, but seeing the four of them is enough for the moment. They're all a little older, and a little more beautiful to Ian. Fiona makes her way to Ian and looks at him over again and pulls him into a huge hug. “Oh my god. You’re alive, you’re really fuckin here right now??” And he feels her sobbing as she wraps him up and he can't help but hug her back. And then she hits him in the chest. “Four years Ian!! Couldn't call your sister and tell her you were okay!?!” She looks at him now. The mix of affection and anger all over her face.

"I'm...I'm sorry Fi, I should of...called, I just...I had to deal with some shit...I know that you're mad..." He stammered trying to think of something to say that would make this better, but there was absolutely nothing he could say. Nothing would make this better. He sighed and bowed his head down. Defeated already. How is it that a man could spend four years fighting for his country, willing to lay down his life, and his big sister could defeat him with one look, in a matter of seconds.

  
"We were scared Ian, all of us. You just...One day you were gone, and yeah at first I thought, it would be fine, pretended that wherever you were, you knew what you were doing, but we aren't talking about a few months here Ian, Years. You could have called once, just once. and said hey guys, I'm okay, apparently you joined the army, and you've been doing that, what they don't allow calls home anymore?" she says her arms crossed across her chest.

  
"Course they do. I don't know. Look, A lot of of...my life kind of blew up in a big way and at the time, leaving, joining the army and doing something like that, was what I needed. I don't expect anyone to understand, or to forgive me. But I'm home now. and I'll be home. But for now, I'll go check into a hotel. I understand I took myself out of this family...and I'm sorry for that. I missed all of you, I love all of you." He says sadly turning away.

  
"And where the hell do you think you're going? you can stay in a hotel if you want, whatever. But you are not walking out that door right now. I get it, shit happened with..Mickey, it sucked, it was a long time ago. My issue isn't that.." but she's cut off mid-sentence.

  
"Mickey..How'd you..." He stammers. When he left nobody but Lip knew about Mickey, nobody. "Fucking Lip." He sighs

"No, Lip didn't tell us shit. it's complicated, but yeah everyone knows about you and Mickey okay. Nobody gives a shit. well, Mickey might, but that's a deal for another day..Yeah." She says and Ian is curious. How did they find out? Did Mickey know, that his whole family knew about them? Oh god, he must hate him even more now. Fucking great.

  
"Come on, Come sit. I have to call Lip." Ian sighs lightly.

  
"I really should get a room or something," he says and Fiona shrugs.

  
"You can stay here Ian. If you want to find somewhere, do it tomorrow." Debbie says.

  
"Hey, family! guess who's home!!" The ringing sound of Lip Gallagher enters the room.

  
"You ain't the only one!!" Carl yells as Lip enters from the kitchen stopping as soon as he sees his brother.

  
"Holy Fuck. I feel like I recognize you from somewhere?" Lip says and Ian shakes his head.

  
"Hey, Lip. good to see you." He says with a sad smile. Lip doesn't miss a beat.

  
"Well, you look like you've had one hell of a welcome home, come, let's go drink. Let Vee and Kev know you're home." He says.

  
"Yeah, yeah, sounds good, and you can tell me how in the hell Fi knows about me and Mickey." He whispers the last part and Lip laughs.

  
"That's one hell of a story man. One hell of a story." He says shaking his head and putting his arm around Ian and leads him out the door. "Don't worry Fi, I'll keep an eye on him. make sure, there is no re-uping into the army tonight." He calls over his shoulder as he leads Ian away.

"Maybe I should change," Ian says, and Lip seems to contemplate for a minute.

  
"Nah, the army thing works for you. What if you decide to head over to boys town and get some action, you know that those boys love them an army man." Lip laughs a little.

  
"Don't plan on getting any tonight Lip. Too tired for that shit." Ian says honestly.

  
"Mhm sure. Alright, well drinks tonight. Don't think I'm not still pissed as hell at you for taking off man. Tonight we drink, tomorrow, I'll kick your ass for not calling me." Ian nods at that.  
\--  
Ian expects to walk into the alibi and see Frank passed out on the floor, he expects Kevin to be at the bar with a beer and a greeting and maybe even Veronica to hit him upside his head. What he doesn't expect, standing at the bar, leaving over and chatting with Kevin with a bright smile is Mickey fucking Milkovich. And what is he saying about…kids?

“How are the kid's man?” Mickey asks Kev who brightens and starts going on about his girls. Hmm. Kev and vee finally had kids, good for them.

  
“And you?” Kevin asks laughing. “How's your lot?”

  
“Fuckin great man. Best thing that ever happened to me ya know.” And Ian freezes and turns back around. He can't do this. He doesn't know what Mickey's talking about but whatever it is, being the best thing that's ever happened to his ex, was not something he was willing to deal with right now.

“Yo Gallagher! When did you get back?” Kevin calls out, but by the lightness of his tone, even if it stops Ian, he can tell it is for Lip.

  
“Like minutes ago man. Vacation was sweet as hell. Post-grad parties are highly recommended.” And Ian smiles to himself, lip graduated. Good. He starts to slowly walk away but Lip grabs his arm.

  
“Hey man. Who's your friend? You meet an army brat on your travels.” Kevin jokes and it's then that he hears Mickey.

“Holy fucking shit…Ian?” He says weakly.

“What are you talking about Mickey, nobody's seen Ian in…” Kevin starts to think.

  
“Four years,” Ian says sighing and turning around to face them.

  
“Holy shit!! Two Gallaghers for the price of one. Man. Army? Huh. Should have figured. I guess.” Kevin says laughing a little. Ian smiles at him and chances a glance at Mickey who is stalk still where he stands. Not saying a word since he uttered ians name.

  
“Come on Ian. We're here to drink…” Lip says patting the bar stool and then leans over. “Staring at him won't help anything.” He whispers. And Ian hits his brother.

“Hey, Kev. Hi Mick.” He says the last name quietly to the man who just nods as a response.

“How's…everyone,” Ian says looking at Kev, but wanting to look to Mickey.

“Man, were good. Had some babies. Gotta show you pictures. Wait till vee sees you, she's gonna kick your ass.” Kevin says lightly.

“I reckon a lot of people will,” Ian says looking over at Mickey again.

“Yeah uh, gotta go, pick up…people. See ya Kev. Ian, welcome home.” He says walking away briskly. And Ian places his head on the bar.

  
“Smoothe,” Lip says laughing.

“Fucking damn it!” Ian says and gets up to walk after Mickey.

  
“Wouldn't do that,” Kevin yells but it's too late before he knows it he's outside the bar and he sees Mickey leaning up against the side of the building puffing away on a cigarette.

  
“Mick…” Ian starts and Mickeys head snaps up.

  
“Ian. What are you doing out here? Thought you and Lip were in for an old-fashioned Gallagher reunion?” He comments.

  
“Yeah…I just…I…fuck. How are you?” He asks and Mickey snorts.

  
“I'm fine man. That what you come out here for? I ain't into that lovey-dovey reunion shit. I ain't gonna hug you and welcome you home like your family.” He says

“I know that. Not like most of them are into that either. Still pretty pissed and all.” He says.

  
“Can't blame em. Disappearing and shit. So army huh?” He says.

  
“Yeah. Just finished my tour.” Ian says lightly keeping his head down.

  
“Good for you. Look I really do gotta go. Wasn't just trying to escape. See ya around.” He says.

  
“Yeah okay. Umm, how's Mandy?” He asks and Mickey chuckles again.

  
“Good, good. She's gonna let you have it. I'll let her know you're home. I'm sure she'll be around in the morning. Might wanna have some ice handy. She's still got a killer left hook.” He says and starts to walk away.

  
“Missed you.” Ian whispers. He doesn't expect Mickey to hear him but Mickey stills for a second before he keeps walking and Ian knows he heard it.  
\--

Ian walks back into the bar and Lip looks up.

“Well, he didn't punch him, good sign I say.” He comments and received the middle finger from Ian.

  
“Hey, we all kind of expected him to hit ya. You leaving was rough on him.” Kevin says shrugging.

  
“What do you mean?” Ian asks confused.

  
“Ya know…with you and him being…what you were.” Kevin says like its nothing.

  
“Seriously? Everyone knows? No wonder he looks at me like that, must really want to kill me. Who…um…outted us?” He asks and Kevin laughs.

  
“He did.” Veronica's voice comes from around the bar and Ian looks up.

  
“Excuse me?” Ian asks confused.

  
“Told ya, man. It's a hell of a story.” Lips says.

  
“He um…came out, in a big way…I mean, when Milkoviches decide to do something, they do it with a fucking bang man.” Kev says.

  
“Not like he planned it. He just lost it. Standing over Terry's casket, in front of fucking everyone….and he just started yelling about being gay and about you and him and yeah. There it was.” Vee says.

“Terry's dead? Thank god.” Ian says. And they laugh.

  
“Yeah been dead for about three years now I think. You missed a hell of a celebration on that one. We partied for days. Should have kept your old phone man. Pretty sure you'd have a few voicemails from that one.” Lip says.

“I um…I did. I just. Turned it off, then let it die. Never checked any messages. Maybe I should do that now that I'm home.”

  
“Yeah uh huh. Pretty sure that voicemail was full a long time ago. Then again. Most of us gave up trying after the first six months. Think Mandy might have left a couple of fuck you's after that. But ya know.” Lips says.

“I need to talk to Mandy,” Ian says.

“She'll be by in the morning. You might want to get drunk, she's gonna kick your ass.”

  
“That's what Mickey said.” Ian sighs.

  
“Man you left her. You left all of us. No word. That was pretty fucked up, but you were her best friend, even with your fucked up shit with Mickey, and she needed you, you should have seen it when she found out about you and Mickey. She kicked his ass, still think he kinda let her, but damn she blacked his eye. She punched me in the jaw for not telling her sooner. So prepare yourself, she's gonna kick your ass and I ain't stopping her, I kind of like my dick attached.” Lip laughs and Ian shakes his head and takes a shot.  
\--  
It only stood to reason that the only time Mickey and Lip agreed upon anything was that Mandy would be pissed and fuck were they right. She didn't wait until morning, when Lip and Ian came up the walkway, drunk, there she was. Fuming Mandy Milkovich. Lip smiled brightly at her and she glared at the both of them. “Hey…I swear he just showed up today. Figured I'd give him a last hoorah before you buried him in the backyard.

  
“Mhm. You're lucky I like you. Go inside, I need to kill your brother now. I don't need witnesses.” Lip nods and smiles before leaving in and kissing her on the cheek.

  
“You seem friendly.” Ian giggles and sits down on the pavement.

  
“You seem hammered,” Mandy says looking at him. “I should kill you. But damnit Gallagher. I missed you!!” She says sitting next to him and pulling him to her. “Fucking asshole. All this shit for my brother? Really? He that good of a lay that you lie to me, and then take off?”

“Mm. I loved him. So much. But I was nothing to him…but a warm mouth.” He says slurring.

“Why would you think that?” She asks

“He told me so. Once. But really, I don't know. I never knew how he felt. Still, don't. Oh well. I left. And everyone's mad at me but I was heartbroken. I couldn't look at him anymore, not after we got caught by your dad and he shut down. Wouldn't even look at me.”

“You're both idiots. That much is evident. Look I can't say he loved you because what do I know, didn't even know you were fucking my brother until you were gone but a man doesn't just come out at his fathers funeral and scream about how he took everything away from him if it wasn't something more than a fuck. Ya know? You maybe need to deal with that, but first….if you ever leave again and don't call me, I will hunt you down and cut your dick off!! You understand me?” She says sternly and he nods.

“Good.”  
\--

Ian finally smiled as he ran. Sure he was hungover as fuck, but he needed this. The air around him, the fresh air, 24 hours back in Chicago and he felt like everything he ever knew about himself in the past four years was bullshit. He had been proud of himself out there and back here he was nothing but a poor, southside piece of trash, who had abandoned everyone who ever gave a damn about him. It wasn't supposed to be like this, he wasn't supposed to be like this. He left for a reason, and damn it he felt guilty as hell about that. That morning had been a big reminder of that. They had all moved on just fine without him, so why had he come back. He should have kept in touch, he should have just called every week and then never came back. Because this was torture.

He finally stopped, running out of breath. And almost collapsed on the sidewalk. Where he was he didn't even know. He knew he was on the north side. He knew that much. He hadn't wanted to deal with anybody for at least a little while and as far as he knew, nobody would dare know him on this side of town. So here he was, breathing heavily, thinking of his old life, and unfortunately thinking of Mickey once again, not knowing how far from home he really was. He heard his name being called. “Gallagher?” He heard the voice but he dared to not believe it. What kind of shit was this? Now he wasn't just thinking of his ex-whatever he was but now he was hearing his voice on the north side of Chicago. Impossible.

“Earth to Ian Gallagher.” Mickeys voice rang out again and Ian looked up from his spot on the pavement as he let out another heavy breath and sure enough there he was, Mickey fucking Milkovich…in a suit? The fuck?

  
“Mickey?” He asked out of breath.

  
“The one and only. What are you doing all the way out here? You know…homes the other way…right?” Mickey chuckled a little.

“Mhm. Yeah. Just out for a run. What are you doing out here? Dressed like that?” He asks the shock obviously taking over his mouth.

  
“Mm. Well, I live…there.” Mickey says pointing to the house across the street. And Ian looks at it. It's a nice, suburban type house. With a nice car in the driveway. What the actual fuck? “And I'm headed to work, so that's why I look like this. You aren't the only one that got out, granted I didn't fuck off to the army and disappear.” Mickey says shaking his head.

  
“Oh. Nice place. Good for you.” Ian says quietly. “Um, since you’re here. How far away…from the El am I? Kind of got turned around.” He says.

  
“Ain't that the truth. You're pretty far.” Mickey continued to explain how to get back, to make it home when Ian heard a girl scream from across the street. “Dad!!!” She calls out. And Mickey turns around swiftly. “Uh gotta go, man. You good to get back or you need a ride?”

  
“A ride?” Ian asks tilting his head.

  
“Yah doofus. The car. I have one. Want me to take you back to the train man.” Mickey says rolling his eyes and Ian just finds himself nodding along.

  
“Yeah okay.” And he stares over at the little girl standing on the porch. “Dad?” He asks.

“Mhm.” Ian doesn't say anything he just nods as he follows Mickey. The girl, must be about 6 or 7 and he knew Mickey didn’t have any kids when he left, so he wondered if maybe she was the daughter to whomever he was dating, or what? Because he was confused.

  
“Who are you?” The girl asks looking at him.

  
“Isabelle, that was rude. This is Ian. He’s a childhood friend, back in town for a while. Where's Alex?” He asks. She shrugs and Mickey rolls his eyes. “Okay then. I'll be right back man. Gotta get the boy. Hop on in. Isabelle. Play nice.” He says to the girl and she puts her hands on her hips.

“I am nice.” She says to Ian and he laughs.

“Sure. Alex your dad?” He asks curiously and she scrunched her nose.

“Uh. Ew no. Mickey's my dad.” She rolls her eyes.

  
Mickey then comes bounding out of the house with a little boy, who is maybe three or four in his arms. Oh god. His heart stills. What if this is his real son? What if…Isabella might be his stepdaughter, but this could absolutely be Mickey's kid. He does have dark hair and blue eyes. Oh god.

  
“Ready kiddo?” Mickey says looking down at the little boy affectionately. The boy nods and he smiles at both of the kids. Ian can't breathe.

  
Mickey straps them into the back and motions for Ian to get in. “Alright gotta drop the munchkins off. Then I'll drop you by the train.” He says and Ian nods.

  
The car ride is silent, as they pull in front of the school and Isabelle climbs out as does Mickey. He reaches down and she hugs him and offers him a smile before bounding off into the building. Mickey watches her intensely until he sees her walk in with her teacher. And he sighs and gets in. “Alright, one more. Buddy, you ready to spend the day with aunt Mandy, huh?” He asks the little boy and he seems to like that because he giggles.

“I thought she was still at my house,” Ian says.

  
“Nah, she's back home. Only a few blocks away.” Mickey says.

  
“Wow. Mandy's northside too. That's great.” Ian says.

“Mhm.” Mickeys says pulling up to the curb and Mandy steps out of a house. And she sees Ian, he knows she does because she shakes her head at her brother and says something to which he seems to get annoyed at before handing over the boy and walkin back to the car.

  
“My loving sister wants you to know that you can come hang out with her today if you want.” He says.

  
“Gotta get home and shower and deal with the family. Maybe I'll come by later. I'll text her.” Mickey nods. “She say anything else?”

  
“Nah man, just her usual bullshit. Let's get you to the train. I got work to do.” He says.

  
“I could just stay and walk there. Don't want you to get in Trouble for being late.” Ian offers

  
“Nah. Can't get in trouble. I'm the boss.” He says and Ian looks over at him.

  
“The boss?” He asks.

  
“Yeah. Car dealership. Went back to school and shit. Worked hard, got lucky really. Own the place, now. Original owner retired and gave it to me. Took a liking to me.” And Ian looks over and raises an eyebrow.

  
“A liking?” He asks.

  
“Gross man, he's like 80. You were the one into old dudes remember? Not my style.”

  
“Right...so um..the kids. They…yours? Or like..your boyfriends? Girlfriends?” He asks and Mickey laughs, actually laughs.

  
“That was a really horrible way to ask if I'm seeing anyone? God, you suck at this. Yes, they are mine, not biologically, I adopted them. And no I'm not involved with whomever their mother or father was, they are…were orphans. It's a long story but their mine now. And please save me any more horrible questions, I'm not seeing anyone girl or guy, and for the record, I don't date women, and that is not an invitation, so don't take it as one, got it.” Mickey says and Ian nods but soon realizes Mickey can't see him because his eyes are on the road.

  
“Got it, no chance in hell. Noted.” Ian says sadly.

  
“Don't do that.”

  
“Do what?”

  
“That wounded puppy act. Like I just broke your heart. Don't do that.”

  
“I wasn't. You didn't just break my heart, you did that a long time ago.” Ian huffs. Now he's pissed. “Fuck it, let me out. I'll walk.”

  
“Just shut up and sit back, asshole. Don't act like that. You left, I didn't.” Mickey says the anger radiating from him. Ian can see it and it makes him angry.

  
“Yeah, I left. I left because you couldn't even look at me anymore. Because all I was was a warm mouth to you and I wasn't going to sit there and let you…tell me it didn't matter. Because it did to me. And you've obviously done better without me in your life anyway. So what does it fucking matter? I was just a fuck, that you were more than willing to part with as soon as daddy found out. So fuck you for thinking you have the right to be mad at me.” Ian crossed his arms and he saw Mickey glare but he kept driving until he pulled up to the train and Stopped the car.

“You know what Gallagher. Fuck You. You left, I was dealing with some shit, yeah. My dad caught us fucking and then I was raped because that's what that shit show was. Some Russian hooker came in and hopped on my dick and there was a gun at your head and you were watching me, my boyfriend was forced to watch me get banged by a woman and it sucked, okay, so excuse me for needing more than a week to deal with that shit. Thank you very fucking much for leaving me to deal with Terry and his shit. Thank you for not answering my calls or texts of apologies, or confessions of whatever. Thanks for not coming home when I begged you, when I needed you when my sister needed you. So yes, I get to be mad because you left for four years, and you abandoned me, you claimed to have given a damn but in the end, you didn't stay, I did.”

  
“Boyfriend? Since Fucking when Mickey? I didn't hear any messages. I haven't turned that damn phone on in a long time. And fuck. You said I was nothing, do you remember that…I begged you to just tell me I was something to you. Anything!! You said I was a nice fuck, that's the words that came out of your mouth. I loved you!! And I was just a nice fuck. Well, screw you.” Ian says walking away and going for the train.  
\--  
Ian slams the front door of the Gallagher house as he rushes in. Tears, begging to fall down his face, reminding him of why he left this place four years ago. Fiona stops him and looks at him.

  
“Ian?” She asks and he shakes his head.

  
“Not now Fi.” He says in a begging tone and as usual, she ignores him.

  
“Where have you been!? Ian, I was worried. You've been gone all morning.” And then she starts ranting and he tunes her out for a while. “You can't do that, disappear, we haven't seen you in four years Ian….”

  
“I said…not now! Jesus fuck! I'm going to a hotel. I'm not a kid anymore, I can go out for a run in the morning and not have to check in every five minutes. I've done just fine on my own for the last four years. I don't need to fucking check in. I get it. I left, everyone is pissed, but really? How long did it take for you to even notice last time huh? Or is it only my leaving they get noticed? How about when I come home with my face all busted up or I lay in bed crying every night because my heart is broken, nobody gave a damn then. Nobody noticed a damn thing when I was here. So excuse me for needing something more than that. So yeah, I left, I should have called but I didn't. And I'm back, but fuck this. I just had a run in with my ex-whatever and it hurts and I just wanted a minute to fucking cry because I deserve that much. I'll be at a hotel for a couple of days. That way I can fucking cry and hate myself properly. Thank you very much.” He says angrily going for his back upstairs and heading out.

\--

Ian stares down at his old phone, the one he hadn't bothered to charge in years. Sure it was still in service. God knows why. But it was. And he plugs it in looking down at it. Mise well clear it out before he switches the service to his new phone. He sighs loudly looking at the screen as it starts to charge and lays it down, deciding to get some sleep or cry. Because this fucking sucks.  
\--  
Messages from Mandy Milkovich:

Mandy: Hey Ian, where are you, feel like I haven't seen you in days. Wanna meet up? Dads home so I can't have you over, wanna get high or something?

Mandy: Ian? You okay?

  
Mandy: okay fucker! It's been a week, where are you?

  
Mandy: dads back in jail if you want to come around?

Mandy: just tell me your okay? It's been over a month.

  
Mandy: Mickey's been weird since you left. Did he say something to you? Did he find out about you and kick your ass or something? Just tell me, I'll take care of it. I miss you.

  
Mandy: dads out again. I haven't seen your face in six months. I love you.

  
Mandy: you’re an asshole you know that! You just disappear and no nobody has seen you. Talked to your family, they aren't saying where you are. And I miss you.  
Mandy: dad died. Where are you?

  
Mandy: holy shit. You..and Mickey….holy shit….  
\--  
Fiona: Hey Ian, where are you?

Ian scoffed at that. Six months. Her first Text took six months.

Lip: hey man, I gave you time to deal, now come home. It's been long enough okay? Everyone's freaking out now.

  
Lip: hope you're okay. Love you okay.

  
Lip: man. I don't even know if your getting these but Terry's funeral was today. Mickey freaked the fuck out. Came out, told the world that you and he were together, screamed it at the casket. I got video. I'll send it to you.

\--video message from lip Gallagher—

“Terry Milkovich's funeral. Thought you'd want to see this someday man. So here it is.” Lip says looking back at his phone and turning it back around. A couple of fake speeches follow. Occasionally Lip urns the phone around to make a face at it and turns it back around.

  
The Milkovich boys and Mandy are at the front. Mandy comes up beside Lip and sits down.

“What are you doing?” She asks.

  
“Recording this shit. Not nearly as exciting as it should be. Thought, someday when Ian comes home he'd like to see this. Proof the old mans dead”

  
“Why would he care?” She asks and Lip doesn't say anything and that's when Mickey approaches the casket.

  
“Fuck you!!” Mickey screams.

“Just got good.” Lips says and makes his way closer. Making sure to get the right angle.

  
“You know what Terry, you ruined my entire life! I'm glad your dead. But little too late huh? I already lost everything. You were so afraid people would find out that your son was gay? Huh? You had to take the one thing I loved and rip it away from me?!?? Fuck You.” Mickey the turned towards the people in the crowd watching him.

  
“Yeah, you heard me. I'm gay! And I was and still am completely in love with Ian Gallagher!! And this asshole made him leave, in his own way. So fuck him. If you're  mourning this piece of shit, you can fuck your self.”

  
“Holy fuck man. I wish I could get this to you.” Lip says before Mandy marches up next to him.

  
“Did you know?” Mandy asks him and Lip shuts the camera off.

“Holy fuck,” Ian whispers out sitting his phone down for a minute.  
\--  
There were only a few messages from Debbie and Carl, both just said, come home a few times and Ian let himself take them in before he opened the texts from Mickey.

Mickey: I'm sorry. I didn't mean what I said the last time I saw you okay.

  
Mickey: damn it, Gallagher. Answer the phone. I hate texts and voicemail. I'm not doing this. Call Mandy or something if you don’t want to see me. I get it.

  
Mickey: so you just skip out on everyone huh? Well, fuck you too.

  
Mickey: I miss you

  
Mickey: dad died. Ignore the voicemail. You don't need to hear that shit.

  
Mickey: yeah. Fuck you.

  
Mickey: met these kids. They're orphans, but they're so…I dunno man, remind me of me, all alone and shit.

  
Mickey: took the kids in. Gonna be a family man. Wish you were here. We could have been…I don't know

  
Mickey: goodbye Ian  
\--

Ian is openly crying. He kept texting him, even after everyone stopped. The last message was from a few months ago. The Goodbye. He kept texting him. And fuck. He should have kept that phone on. He cried himself to sleep that night, not even attempting the full voicemail box quite yet.  
\--  
Ian woke up and texted Fiona that he would be by later today. And she, of course, called him.

  
“Hey, fi.” He answers.

  
“Back to the old number?” She asks

  
“Mhm. Gonna be anyway. I'll be home later. Just needed to cool down. And deal.”

  
“Okay. We have..um a party later. Celebration. We'll be home late. You still have a key.” She says

  
“Yeah okay. I'm not invited to the party?” He asks.  
“Mm. It's at mickeys. If you want to…”

  
“It's okay. I get it. Not invited. Love you. Talk to you later” he says.  
\--

He plugs the headphones into his phone as he plays the voicemails while getting ready for a run.

“Hey! What's going on? You never don't answer me? Where's my best friend at? You holed up in a room with your boyfriend or something?” Mandy says. That was the day he left. He sighs pulling on his shoes, letting a few more messages from Mandy pass through his ears as he steps outside and he involuntarily stops hearing Mickey's voice in his ears. The message starts. Telling him it was a month after he left.

“Hey man….I'm sorry okay? I was just..scared I guess. Miss you…ya know, more than just the fucking.” He says and hangs up.

Ian listens to all these voices, his sisters, brother said, Mickey and even Mandy for a while just running, not thinking, just running. And it's the one, he can tell by the date and certainly because the message before it was Mandy pleading for him to come home but it's the one…fuck.

“Hey. So you've been gone for a long time. A year I think and a few days ago I get this call and Terry's dead. Like really fucking dead and what am I supposed to do with that Ian? Please be alive. Please. Fuck. The world is supposed to be better without him and shit and that's only true if you're still in it somewhere. I lied when you begged me to admit that I felt something. I lied to you okay? I loved you. I wanted to pull you into my arms and tell you that I loved you, but what was that supposed to do, he would have killed you. No, I had to let you go, to save you. But God it hurt. And I love you. Come home.”

Ian stopped and collapsed against the sidewalk, looking up. Mickey's house. He had run to Mickeys house. Because fuck. He shouldn't have enlisted, he should have stayed and waited. Would Mickey have still told him that if he had stayed? Would it all have been different, would he be in that house right now, would he have been a family with the man he loves. He sits there and sobs for a minute.

  
“Ian?” Mandy's voice reaches his ears.

  
“Hey, Mands. Sorry. I'm going.” He says standing up.

  
“Hey. What are you doing here?” She asks softly touching his shoulder.

  
“I um, I was listening to my voicemails. You know, the ones I never checked because I just turned my phone off when I left and I just was running and I ended up here. It's stupid. I'm gonna go back to the hotel. I don't even know why I came back. Guess I thought it wouldn't hurt as much. I was wrong.” He says sadly.

“You still love him?” She asks

  
“Of course.” He says.

  
“Just realize that now? Coming back? Maybe it's not as real as you think if you can turn it off for four years.” She says. Not accusing just trying to understand.

  
“I wish. I really wish I could say that I hadn't thought of him in four years. That would be easy, but truth, I didn't turn the phone on because I was afraid. I was afraid he'd say he moved on or they he wouldn't even call, I was afraid that if I called home someone would tell me he found someone, that he fell in love and came out for someone else like he couldn't for me. I was afraid that he wouldn't even notice I was gone.” He says crying more.

  
“Oh, Ian. How could you think that? He loved you so much.” She says

  
“And now I know that.  And it doesn't change a damn thing. Because I left.” She hugs him and lets him cry.

  
“Stay here. For like five minutes okay? Just please.” She says and he nods in agreement.

  
\--

  
He times it and finally the five minutes pass and Ian breathes in and out and takes one last look at the house. The house that maybe could have been his. And he starts to walk away.

“Gallagher!!” He hears Mickey yell. And he turns around and sees the man standing on his porch. “You comin?” And Ian walks across the street. “You always attend a party from across the street?” Mickeys asks.

  
“Wasn't invited. Just…I don't know. One last look I guess.” He says.

  
“Last look? You leaving again?” Mickey asks.

 

“Just back to the hotel.”

  
“Well, we got cake and booze and two very excited kids with presents. You sure you don't want in on that. It's riveting.”

  
“You sure?” Ian asks.

  
“Sure. We can talk after. Come on.”  
\--

The celebration, one year since the adoption, was breathtaking. Watching Mickey with his children. And Ian tried to hold back the tears but he couldn't. It was all so much. By the time everyone left, he was just sitting in the corner watching them all leave and he was silent.

  
“Come on kiddos. I'll get you settled.” Mandy says taking off with the kids and Mickey sits next to Ian.

  
“You have a great life now,” Ian says

  
“Mhm. They're pretty great. Ya know. Never thought I'd want to be a dad but those two crashed into my life and I love them so much. Want to give them everything ya know?” He says.

  
“Yeah. That's the dream. A family and a better life. I'm happy for you.”

  
“Then why do you look so sad?” Mickey asks. “If you're so over the moon, happy for me.”

  
“Don't know.”

  
“Bullshit. Out with it.” Mickey says.

  
“Because it could have been me, no that's wrong. I meant. It could have been us, but I left and we never got the chance to get past our shit, or I didn't and now, you're happy and I'm truly happy for you, I just miss you, every damn day and I never knew that you felt…I heard the message today, God, if I would have known. I loved you…love you so much, and what…I just fucked up. I was so afraid that you never loved me that I shut everything out and I'll never be able to live with that.”  
Mickey looks at Ian intensely.

“So you love me? I'm not the same boy you knew Ian. Do you love him? Or me? Because you don't really know me.”

  
“Still you. I always knew you. Behind all the bullshit there was Mickey, my Mickey that you never let anyone see and now you do. You're kind and loving and have two beautiful children who adore you and I wanted all that with you.”

  
“Do you still?” Mickey asks.

  
“Of course I do,” Ian says and Mickey smiles and leans in.

  
“Well then, if you want me, Gallagher, prove it.”

  
“I love you, Mickey,” Ian says and kisses Mickey. Half expecting a punch in the face but the hands of the other man wrap around him.

  
“Love you,” Mickey says when he breaks the kiss and Ian goes in for another.

\--  
\--6 months later—

“Would you stop that.” Mickey laughs as Ian kicks out his foot, in his sleep. Again.

  
“Mmm.” Ian groans and rolls over and Mickey laughs harder.

  
Mickey wraps his arms around his boyfriends back and brings him closer.

  
“Morning,” Mickey says kissing the back of Ian's neck.

  
“Mhm. Time is it?” Ian asks and Mickey looks at the clock.

  
“Eight.” He says.

  
“Damn. Gotta get up. Work.” Ian groans again and turns to look over at Mickey. “Not everyone can be their own boss.”

  
“Calm down fire-crotch. You don't work today…remember? Family outing with the little ones.”

  
“Right. More sleep then.” Ian says closing his eyes.

  
There's a light knock on the door and Ian leans up.

  
“Come in,” Mickey says and Isabelle peaks around the door.

  
“Daddy...Ian…up? I'm hungry.” She says smiling and Mickey laughs.

  
“I'll go cook. Go ahead, you know you're gonna just crawl up there when I'm gone anyway.” He says and she smiles getting into the bed.

“Hey, there little one. Wanna nap while daddy cooks?” He asks and she nods curling herself up next to him. And he smiles at her because this was the best thing in the world. When he and Mickey got together she had been wary of him at first but soon enough the little girl opened her heart to him and he couldn't be happier. With his amazing boyfriend back in his arms and his little family, life couldn't be more perfect at home.

  
And his family had slowly been able to forgive his absence, understanding that with a broken heart, logic went right out the window. So he visited his family as much as he could and he was even getting closer with Debbie and Carl again. Life was pretty good. And he was pretty sure he never could regret it turning out like this.

“Okay sleepy heads!!! Get up!” Mickey calls and both Isabelle and Ian reluctantly get up and walk into the kitchen. Alex already sat in his high hair cooing at Mickey.

Mickey wraps his arms around Ian's waist and pulls him in for a deep kiss. And they both smile brightly at each other, more in love than either thought was possible.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> As always come see me @mysticallygallavich
> 
>  
> 
> I am still going to be in writing mode for the next few days, (as well as house hunting mode.) so if your waiting for an update or maybe a prompt I'm writing for you, I'm working on it. Promise.


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